The reasons are as follows:
Genotype incompatibility (especially AS+AS in regions like Nigeria)
The love is still very much alive, emotional bond deep, but the fear of SS children forces the split. Many quietly keep meeting “for closure” that never comes, leading to ongoing affairs.
Religious differences (e.g., Christian + Muslim, Hindu + Muslim, Orthodox Jew + secular, etc.)
Families/clans/faith communities forbid marriage, so they part “for the greater good.” But the chemistry doesn’t die overnight;secret meetups, emotional texting, and physical relapses are extremely common.
Tribal/ethnic/caste/family disapproval
“Your parents will never accept them” or “different tribe/caste = future problems.”
The breakup feels noble/sacrificial, but the unresolved passion often leads to “one last time” hookups that turn into years-long side relationships.
Inter-class or socioeconomic mismatch
“He’s too poor/rich for my family” or “She won’t fit into my social circle.” Love exists, but practicality wins, except the bedroom/heart doesn’t get the memo, so cheating with the ex becomes the outlet.
Parental pressure / arranged marriage override
Forced to marry someone “more suitable” while still deeply in love with the previous partner. The new marriage is often dutiful/respectable on the surface, but the ex remains the passionate escape (very common in South Asia and parts of the Middle East).
Cultural/immigrant family expectations
“You must marry within our culture/language/country of origin.” The relationship ends because of “what people will say,” but the individuals keep sleeping together because the attraction was never the issue.
Long-distance forced by visas, jobs, or family relocation
They break up because “it can’t work long-term,” but whenever one visits the other’s city/country, the hotel room becomes a regular spot.
Why this pattern repeats so often
When the breakup reason is external/practical/logistical rather than internal ( like “I don’t love you anymore,” “I found someone better,” or “you betrayed me” ), the romantic and emotional attraction usually remains intact.
The relationship wasn’t “broken” in the emotional sense, it was blocked by outside forces. So the feelings don’t vanish with the status change; they just go underground.
New partners often feel like “settling” or “the safe choice,” while the ex stays the one who “got away,” making cheating feel like “reclaiming what should have been.”
It’s one of the most painful (and common) ironies in modern relationships: the “clean” breakups based on “good reasons” are sometimes the messiest in the long run.
DR MELCHISEDEC BANKOLE
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